I know, it's not Monday yet, but Frankie from Frankie Writes twisted my arm (not really). I needed to participate in her NO KISS BLOGFEST.
Besides, the almost kiss is my favorite kind of scene to write.
So this will just have to count as my Monday post :-)
******
This excerpt is from my YA ghost story, HAUNTED MELODY.
Melody's BF, Paige, is dead (looks like a suicide) and she lusts after her BF's boyfriend (so she's kind of a mess)!
Coming up close behind, his breath warmed my neck. He squeezed my shoulder, my skin prickling beneath the touch of his balmy hand. I remained perfectly still, praying he’d leave his fingers there.
“Mel.” He said my name so tenderly, I nearly dissolved into tears right then and there. “You sure I shouldn’t stay?”
“Yes… and no.” I turned to look at him. “I kind of need to do this alone.”
His eyes travelled over my shoulder to her room.
“I miss her.”
“I know,” he said, swiping a strand of stray hair from my eyes. “Me too.”
My stomach tingled as his eyes held mine. His lips were a whisper away, and I considered closing the distance between us.
Then the hairs rose on the back of my neck...
27 comments:
Aw, man. Her Bf's boy...such internal conflict going on! I like it. It really gives it layers. Nice job.
I love that excerpt. It would definitely keep me reading.
Oh, you evil woman! I would've loved to keep reading :(
And... did you say ghost story??? Um... yeah. Now I'm dying to know what happens next!
Thanks for sharing!
nice tension!! evil cliffhanger. :)
My favorite movie!!! Great almost kiss.
Eeks, I hope Paige loves her BF and will wish her well, not haunt her. I'm feeling spooked though by that last line. Want more!
WOW, you packed a lot into such a small space! Great job :) Wondering what happens next!
Goodness gracious, her bf's boyfriend? That'll make for interesting situations. This is definitely good. I want to read more. :)
Wow, loved this. Now I want to read more!
Omg what tension! That was awesome--you're evil for not sharing more;)
Wow, such a short little excerpt, but my does it pack a punch! I love how you describe their lips being but a whisper apart. Great choice of words!
Hey! Where's the rest! I want to know what happened. Hope you post more later. =)
Edge of Your Seat Romance
Very intriguing. I liked how you got to the point in such a short amount of space. Well done.
oooo. Great way to end the scene in suspense. Nicely done.
The hairs just rose on the back of my neck, too!
Well done!
Shelley
**Shi ver* Oh yeah. Love the tension here.
Ooo, nice and I like the way you end. Is the BF watching, waiting?
Oh, so close...I'd love to see how this fits into the rest of the story, and way to leave us all hanging a the end there :-P ;-)
like Charity, I like the idea that the ghost Paige is watching at the end. That would DEFINITELY be awkward for a relationship with the boyfriend guy! oofda.
Okay, I need a copy of this book!
Wow... Just Wow. I knew I'd like this book. When do I get to snag a copy... I also think this is going to be a giveaway copy for sure!
Such a tease! ;o) I'm so glad you're back!! I'm emailing you tonight or tomorrow (if I can get my act together) to discuss! Hope you had a great holiday hiatus!
OMG!!!! That pic is from It's a Wonderful Life!!!! That's my favorite holiday movie and I ball like a toddler throwing a fit every time I watch it.
Yes. I am a big strong man and I cry during movies. A LOT.
Also, great excerpt!
I just got goose bumps!!!
Love all the internal conflict going on here! This is an awesome entry and almost kiss. Great job!
Now then is Paige upset that Melody is making eyes at her boyfriend or is Paige trying to warn her BF about something only Paige knows? dun dun dun dah!
Bags of tension and just when you think it is going to resolve it cranks up a hundred notches! Great stuff
:Dom (My No Kiss)
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