Here's my excerpt from my YA ghost story called HAUNTED MELODY.
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In this scene, Melody (who is haunted by her dead best friend, Paige) cannot contain her attraction to Paige's boyfriend, Paul.
“I do miss her, Mel.”
I bit my lip, moisture blurring my vision.
His fingers stroked up and down my arm, heat rushing to all the wrong places.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he murmured. “You’re the only one who gets me right now.”
I took a deep shuddering breath, trying to stay rational. “Maybe we’re both just… lost.”Paul turned toward me, so close that I felt his warm air on my lips.
Paige, this is your chance. Show me this is wrong.
I stared into his eyes, my heart thrashing against my chest.
Soft as a whisper, he brushed his bottom lip against mine. Like he was asking permission.
It was more than I could take. I gripped his face and crushed my mouth into his. A moan escaped him as he wound his fingers in my hair and tugged at me, like he wanted to consume me. The kiss was frantic and desperate, and I pushed the guilt far, far away.
All I wanted was him and this moment.
I drew away to catch my breath just as I heard a bedroom door creek open.
55 comments:
"Soft as a whisper, he brushed his bottom lip against mine. Like he was asking permission"--THIS!!
Loved how she wants Paige to stop her, too! Stupid guilt always ruins everything :) SO glad it didn't here!
Amazing excerpt, Christina!
I love it! Now hurry up, girl, and finish the book for me to beta read. I'm getting impatient (as you already know). ;)
"Soft as a whisper, he brushed his bottom lip against mine. Like he was asking permission."
Sigh...love this!
Oooh, I'm lovin this excerpt. What a great idea for a blogfest! I don't usually enter but I couldn't miss this!
Ooh, kinda-sorta-forbidden love. Gotta love that! And I also loved the "Soft as a whisper..." line!
I loved the sweetness of this! And mentally involving the dead friend, who I'm assuming is an antagonist, is a great touch. I wonder where this goes.
Love those frantic kisses! My favourite!
Love those frantic kisses! My favourite!
Amazing writing here Christina! I especially like 'thrashing' and 'crushed.' Such vivid word choices you have here.
Happy VD!
Yes, I agree with Matthew. Amazing writing! And I have to say I just saw Lila's beautiful gift! You are so talented, and thoughtful. What a precious memento.
Loved it!
Oh, that "asking for permission" line is P.E.R.F.E.C.T. ;-)
~JD
Katie--what? How?!? Okay heading to LiLa's blog to investigate!
No! Why did the door open? Why can't they keep kissing? This is so perfect--I want more!
I totally agree! Excellent word choices here. You've set up so much tension in a short space. Well done!
"asking permission"- what a perfect description. I love it. I'm very intrigued by this story just from the kiss alone.
Beautifully done. Love it
Oooo. Love the creaking door at the end. Great stuff.
Thanks for hosting! This is so much fun!
WOW.
that is all<3
What a great turn out. We're all sucker for romance, I guess.
Loved your excerpt... Loved "crushed my mouth to his ..." Very hot.
Uhm...that kiss is hot!
Great writing. You use such great vivid language.
The first kiss is electrifying! Each one to follow may be equally delicious but it's the first kiss in which all following kisses will be compared.
I want more. No, not kisses, more of this story!
I also love the "asking permission" line - it's so beautifully sweet :-)
Dude! That's awesome! Can't wait to read more :)
This was such a great scene I loved it!
Great scene, especially the asking permission part.
So steamy!! I want to read more :) Nothing better than a frantic kiss!
Hee hee. Yes, I definitely understate kissing scenes. One of these things is not like the others, and it's me.
Hi Christina! Thanks to you and Stina for putting this together. Too fun!
Oh wow, I think I completely melted when he used his bottom lip to ask permission. SWOON!
Soooo wonderful - you just feel this kiss and the need there. Love it! Thanks for hosting such a fun blogfest ~ :)
WOW! WOWY! This was soooo gooood!! Thank you for hosting this blogfest! It's fantastic!!
"Like he was asking permission."
Love it! And the door opening at the end. =D
*Sigh*
I won't re-quote all those great lines quoted by my fellow commentees... it was all-around great! (I DID love "All I wanted was him and this moment") (*sigh*)
Thank you for hosting this blogfest! And wow look at all those kissers!!!!
sweet...but what happens when the bedroom door opens? great excerpt.
I was interested as soon as I read the pitch. (Actually what I thought was 'Oh, crap what's going to happen?!') lol And your excerpt just made my interest sky rocket. Loved the kiss! :)
Awesome excerpt. Now I just want to read more!
OH! I absolutely love the conflict and tension and inner turmoil here. You can tell that both feel guilty but they can't stop the way they feel. GORGEOUS! You are a master with the pen (or keyboard, you know...)
That was a delicious first kiss. :)
Wow. That was awesome.
Thanks to you and Stina for hosting.
That was one good kiss.
I like how it started tenderly than frantic!
Great kiss. I'm worried about that bedroom door though. =D
I like how he asked permission -- so gentle, so sweet -- and boy, did he get permission!! ;)
Wondering who's going to interrupt them, though ...
Wow!
" all I wanted was him"...
*sigh*
Thank you for posting this, and even bigger thanks for hosting!
Sash
Hot kiss! And I love the voice too, nicely done dear lady! ;-)
Hope you're having a wonderful Valentines day!
Seriously awesome turn out! Seriously awesome piece! No wonder you wanted to have this blogfest! You're amazing at it!!!
YAY for Valentine's Day and Kissing!!
Oh no! I totally forgot about this! *super sad* I had a couple in mind too. Grrr.
This scene was super!
I loved it! That was a great kiss. What a great idea for a blogfest, I'm bummed I didn't hear about it sooner. ;)
Congrats on a fantastic blogfest! Well done!
The kiss scene was great, but the last line really got me. What was going on? Who was at the door? Awesome. Thanks for having such a fun blogfest!
Edge of Your Seat Romance
Aw man! The bedroom door just had to creak open...Srsly this was great!
D'oh!! Would have loved to get in on this. Oh well, maybe next time :D
Can't believe I missed this! However, I did get to spend most of the day yesterday with my Valentine:)
i love it! can't wait for the day that I can purchase your book!
You certainly know your way around a kissing scene.
mwah!
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